At the beginning of class we marked the Unwind quiz. Reading assigned for Monday, December 7 is to read to page 76. We reviewed the differences between the two story samples on the blog and discussed which one is stronger and why. For the rest of the class there was time available to work on the second draft. It is due on Wednesday, Dec 9.
Thursday
Class today was slightly shortened due to the assembly in the morning. After silent reading there was time provided to work on the life-sized characters. To finish the class, we looked at the importance of including a dilemma in the primary source document short stories.
Wednesday
Mrs. Dawson came to visit again and check-in with us on the e-portfolios. We also did a quiz on the first three chapters of Unwind. For the remainder of the class, we reviewed work in the portfolios and self-assessed the work completed in term 1 in English. We will do the same for the Social Studies work next week or the week after.
Tuesday
We spent some more time working on character development for the Primary Source Stories.
Afterwards we did a few "relax the brain" activites.
At the end of the class, we reviewed "mind mapping" as a note taking strategy that we will use with a short video about the Industrial Revolution.
Monday
Today I returned the short stories that were written based on a primary source document you chose from a revolution. I read the stories over this past weekend. There some strong descriptions in the pieces and there is evidence of an understanding of the time period. However, as I explained in class today, there were some issues with story writing and character development. We spent this class working on developing the characters in these pieces.
A Short Story Should Include . . .
A Short Story Should Include . . .
• setting details woven into the text
• development of at least one character through the
character’s words, thoughts, and actions and
through the words of other characters and/or the
writer
• a problem/conflict which is developed as the story
(plot) progresses
• a resolution of that problem/conflict (climax)
• a conclusion (what happens after climax)
• snapshots (things for the reader to visualize)
• thoughtshots (characters’ thoughts)
• dialogue (optional)
8 Ways Character Is Revealed
1. Action
2. Dialogue
3. Appearance
4. Objects/Possessions
5. Idiosyncracies
6. Exposition/Background
Eight Ways to Reveal Character
by Dewey Hensley
Actions
As Kevin moved down the street his feet made a steady echo sound against the pavement. He
whistled despite the loud rumble of the traffic and the car horns. When someone yelled out the
window of his or her car to watch where he was going, he just waved back like he was watching
a best friend heading home. He passed by the garbage on the sidewalk and the old woman
pushing the shopping cart filled with newspaper, and continued to smile as he headed toward
Cindy’s house. Nothing could erase that smile from his face, not even the coldness of the streets
he called home.
Dialogue
“I ain’t gonna leave you here, Ma’am . . . not with you needin’ help and all,” Jimmy said
as he walked back to his truck to get the jack. “I’d help anybody who needed it; my momma
taught me better’en to just leave people. The good Lord’ll make it up to me.”
“I don’t know . . .,” Linda stuttered. She had barely rolled down her window to hear
Jimmy when he had left his pick-up truck and offered help. “You know what they say about your
kind . . .”
Physical Description
Other guys walking through the hallway were taller and even more handsome, but there
was something about Billy Belaire. His arms swung loose at his side and his dark hair was long
and pulled back behind his head, held by a rubber band. The dark jacket he wore was straight out
of the local thrift shop, she could tell, but the way he wore it suggested a sense of pride, or at
least a lack of caring what others thought about him.
Idiosyncracies
Junior tapped his fingertips against the table and looked at his watch constantly. His leg
bounced up and down and he gulped the hot coffee as if it would hurry up his friend’s arrival.
Objects/Possessions
Michael touched the locket around his neck and rolled it between his fingers. His mother
had given him that locket, with her picture inside, when he had left to live with his father. What
would she think of him now?
Reactions
Tony’s words stung Laura. It wasn’t what she expected to hear. They had been dating for
over a month now, how could he do this to her? How could he break her heart? All three of their
dates had been fun; he had said so himself.
As Tony watched the floodgate of her eyes begin to open he looked at his watch. Jeez, I
hope I can make it to the gym on time.
Thoughts
He began to remember when he was a freshman in high school. The seniors really
thought they were something back then, always trying to play their little pranks on the ninth
graders. He knew at that moment he couldn’t be one of those kinds of people. He walked over to
Jeff and Larry to tell them it was time to stop.
Background Information
Miles knew what it meant to be alone. When he was a child growing up his father had
been in the military. They had traveled from Florida, to Georgia, to California, to Kentucky. He
had rarely had a friend for very long. By the leap from California he had already decided having
friends was a risk; the fewer the friends, the easier it was to leave. This philosophy had made him
a real outsider at Glenview High School. In the six months he had been there he had not really
made a single friend but as he stood there staring at Sheila, he realized that just might have to
change.
Which of the following two climactic moments works best?
Climactic Moment A
Ben walked into the room and stared at Mr. Hensley. He walked back to his seat and sat
there with nothing in his hands and thought about how Hensley had better leave him alone today.
Just as his friend Anthony had said earlier, there was little chance Hensley would leave anyone
alone.
As soon as Mr. Hensley called for the writer’s notebooks to come out, Ben knew there
was going to be trouble. He sat there wondering if Hensley noticed if he had it or not. Suddenly
Hensley said his name. Ben just sat there and told Hensley he didn’t have his materials. The
teacher became very angry and began to spit out words. “Get out of here if you don’t have your
stuff!”
Ben stood up slowly and walked to the front of the room. As he passed Hensley, the
teacher said, “You had better get a new attitude, kid.” Suddenly all the anger that had built up
from the day spilled out of Ben. He pushed the teacher backwards and Hensley fell on the floor.
As Ben moved toward the door, tears rolled down his face. He could hear Hensley’s loud
voice “You did it now, Ben . . .”
Ben slammed the door as he left.
As Ben drove down Pacific Highway, he thought about that day when he came unglued.
He thought about Tony, his mom, the hallways at school. He wondered now what was right or
wrong and if he had screwed up his life as bad as he thought. When he stared at the ocean
beating against the shore, he knew life would be different for him now and he wondered if
people can really make it right when you take the wrong path.
Climactic Moment B
Ben erupted through the door. As he walked to the back of the room, he stared at Hensley
with the contempt a dead man walking has for his executioner. When he fell into the seat at the
back of the classroom, he watched Hensley moving around the front of the room. The teacher’s
beady eyes seemed to follow everyone as they crowded into the classroom. Just like Anthony
had said earlier, everyone hated Hensley and his aggressive ways. He was always picking on
kids for no reason. With everything that had happened to him that day, Ben just hoped Hensley
had the good sense to leave him alone. As he sat there, Ben’s muscles tightened. “Please don’t
say ‘get out your writer’s notebooks’ again today.”
“Get out your writer’s notebooks,” Hensley’s voice boomed. He sounded like a broken
jukebox always playing the same warped record day after day. Hensley stood before the twenty-five
students. Ben could see his round figure and the way he always clapped his hands together at the
beginning of class as if he were a band director. Ben lowered his eyes, hoping that if he didn’t
see Hensley, perhaps Hensley would not see him. Suddenly Ben’s silence was shattered. “I said,
Ben, where is your notebook?”
Ben heard his mom’s words echo from the morning. “What are you gonna do with
yourself, Ben?” He heard the sound of the hallway and the birds singing outside the window. He
heard the rumble of his car’s motor. He saw flashes of the western sky.
“I don’t have it.” Ben’s words caused most of the class to take a deep breath. Anthony
looked across the room and began to mouth the words, “No, Ben . . . don’t.” But it was too late.
Ben was ready to break the chains that had held him in place. “I said I don’t have it,” Ben
continued, “because it is a pile of crap. You always make us do this junk for no reason. I am tired
of it and I am tired of you.”
Like spectators at a tennis match, the students turned their heads to stare at the teacher.
He stood there, the copy of Weetzie Bat slowly slipping between his fingers. A large vein rose on
his temple and his brow wrinkled like a mountain range spread across the globe the students
looked at in Geography. He shuffled back on his heels and his eyes narrowed. He shot laser
beams across the room at Ben. “What did you say, young man?” The spectators turned.
“I said you, this writer’s notebook, this class . . . hell, this entire school, are full of
crap!!!!” Ben’s voice had turned into a low squeal, but his face had grown older, like stone
rubbed raw by years of wind and rain.
“Get out,” Hensley responded. He could barely contain the rage inside him. The class
stopped watching and began to lower their heads. When Ben did not move immediately, Hensley
repeated himself. Ben thought to himself it was typical for Hensley to repeat himself.
Ben stood up and began to navigate through the row of chairs. The cuffs of his worn
khakis scraped against the carpeted floor as he made his way toward the front of the room. His
head was up but his eyes were lowered. As he passed by Tony, he touched him on the shoulder.
Tony lowered his head onto the desk. When Ben moved closer to Hensley, the teacher reached
out and wrapped his hand around Ben’s arm.
“Really smart, Ben . . . you are just like the rest of ‘em.”
All of the day’s events rushed through Ben’s veins. Almost like a reflex, he struck out.
He shook Hensley’s hand away with one arm and brought his elbow up quickly, catching
Hensley square on the jaw. The thud rang out across the room like a bass drum. One person in
the class gasped; another whistled and the others just sat there. Hensley raised his arm to protect
his face. Ben brought his other hand hard into the teacher’s stomach. Breath drained from the
teacher and he fell backwards onto the blue carpet.
Ben stared down at the teacher and the reality of what he had just done began to set in.
He turned and began to walk toward the door. Everyone stared at him. He walked to the door and
for good measure, he slammed it as he exited into a world much different from the one he had
been in before.
